The Forgiveness Post

The following question and response were posted last week. I felt it was important enough to move to the front. My Fairy Feelers have been tingling with the things that are being said. You all are thinking and listening to God and working to do his will. I'm very proud of all of you! With the fact that the sermon this morning was about this very topic, I wanted to post this up top and then add what Pastor Steve had to say.

Anonymous said...

So...I got to thinking the other night about forgiveness (so this isn't directly related but it does involve relationships and trust). Alright, two people are in a dating situation and one of them does something that would normally break trust and possibly the relationship. The other wants to forgive the person and just 'forget' it, but we never really forget... so, if the trust isn't there...can the relationship survive? If you end it then isn't like not forgiving them or is it just not trusting?

Just Wondering

Bible Devotion Fairy said...

Ah, Dear Anonymous, I envy not your situation. Here are two things I know:

We are commanded to forgive.
Matthew 18:21: Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

We are also told to not associate with people who are a detriment to our walk.
Proverbs 12:26: A righteous person is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 13:20: One who walks with wise men grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Trust is a precious gift. It is something to be earned and cherished. And if someone in a relationship makes a choice to violate that trust it may be grounds for retreating from the relationship (this applies to friends or “more than friends”) or it may mean working together to overcome and rebuild the trust.

Let me make this practical in a non-relationship situation. Let’s say that Joy is running for president. She has a great new education policy that is going to make her a winner hands-down. Roy is on her staff and decides that it is in his best interest to go to Joy’s opponent and tell them her idea. The opponent takes her idea as his own and wins the election.

If you were Joy would you fire Roy? You would be a fool not to, right? He stole your idea, caused you to lose the election. Can you fire him and still forgive him? I purport, yes. Of course you can. It doesn’t mean you want him dog sitting for you any time soon.

The entire purpose of a dating relationship is to discover more about the person you are dating. If this is something you don’t want to have to forgive in a spouse, I would let this one more on. Trust is imperative in a relationship but even marriages have to suffer through some breaks in trust and you need to decide which breaks you would be able to get over again and again - for little quirks in marriage become really annoying after 1, 5, 10, 30 years.

Does this help?

You’re in my prayers,
The B.D.F.

Here are the additional things that Pastor Steve said this morning that I wanted to add:
1. Forgiving is not forgetting
2. Forgiving does not mean everything will be like it was before. The offender doesn't automatically and instantaneously return to previous status.

He also reminded me of one important point: We will never be able to forgive others until we experience God's forgiveness. Haven't yet done a salvation post, but please log on and ask if you don't know what it means to have God's forgiveness.

Blessings and get back to work you four-day weekend slackers :).
B.D.F.