To say that I anticipate February 14th is to assume that one likes dropping mashed potatoes in their coffee. It's not a horrible occurrence, but why ruin a perfectly good cup of coffee? What is the hype about really? Why do we so desperately long to be in relationships? Why do movies continually portray men in their pursuit of that woman or a woman finding that right man? Why do songs glorify relationships? Why do advertisers exploit them? What is it that we so desperately long for from another?
It seems that the crux of all these things, at there very core, lies an individuals pursuit of love. If we honestly assess our lives, wouldn't we agree that our greatest desire is to be loved? Who doesn't want to be loved? Who doesn't want to be seen as special or significant to a certain someone? Who doesn't long for intimacy? Who doesn't want the security of a relationship. Honestly, sign me up. Hey, wait a second, is it really that easy? Is dating someone really the answer? Do Nashville and Hollywood have it right? So we should worry about how to attract him/her, right? We should wear the right clothes, hang out with the right people, say the right things and eventually he/she will realize that I can fulfill his/her dreams? Why does our society focus so intently on how to get love and never stop to ask why we all need it?
But to begin, what is love? Some would define love as a feeling or a desire, others would say an action or simply being kind. I do not question whether it can embody all of those elements since love is multi-faceted, but to start at the beginning, "God is love." God's very nature is love. He cannot be separated from love. God created us for entering into relationship with Him. In doing so, He created us, every person to ever live or that will ever live, with an inherent need for love. In doing so, He intends for our quest to lead us to Him as the source of love.
Know that you can choose to try and fill these need for love with temporary human relationships, or even with money, or praise of men, or possessions or fame, but nothing will satisfy, nothing can satisfy outside of the infinite and all-surpassing love of a God who delights in you. Once you are complete in God, through the atoning work of Christ and indwelt with His Spirit, then you receive security in His love and an awareness that you are significant in His plan. This frees you to love selflessly. Selfish love seems like an oxymoron, but if you pursue a relationship to meet your needs is it not selfish?
Okay, by now you probably realize that I am an idealist. But not always. I get lonely. I am tempted to believe a relationship will bring happiness and fulfillment. I am tempted to base my self-worth on another's desires for me. I like flowers and chocolate too. Being single is not easy. At the same time, I am unwilling to compromise my standards. Maybe you have heard of the three M's: Master, Mission, Mate. Know whose you are, figure out what you were created to do and then look around for someone with the same values and the same passion so that you can encourage one another and grow together.
I really want a husband. Sometimes so badly my soul aches, but I have set criteria. I want to marry a man who fears the Lord and is passionate about youth ministry. Until then, whenever then is, I can not see how 'seeing what is out there' or 'getting to know someone' would be profitable. With singleness comes great responsibility. I realize that I need to be above reproach in any interactions I have with the opposite sex. Loving my brothers requires me to respect myself by dressing modestly, talking purely and setting rigid physical boundaries. In this moment, I must make decisions that will shape me to become a good wife, knowing that actions really do have consequences.
With singleness also comes some sweet perks. How cool is it that for now "the Lord your Maker is [my] husband"? My primary focus rests in submitting to God. So I get to serve someone who is love and promises to never leave me or forsake me.
I just want you to ask yourself a few questions this week: Do I know love? Am I walking in relationship with God? How does that impact my relationships? What are prerequisites the other person must meet before I will even consider dating them? Do I conduct myself in a way that is honoring to God and thereby loving to the men/women I encounter?
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